pitch-black

Invictus

2011-01-05T19:52:00.002+05:30

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

---William Ernest Henley (1849–1903)

On Robben Island prison, Nelson Mandela, a prisoner, recited the poem to other fellow mates and was empowered by its message of self mastery. Just imagine those 9000 days he spent there and came out victorious in the and changed history forever.

I hope it shows you the light as well. Happy New Year :)

fetterlock: how mere conversations can change lives

2010-11-22T05:53:00.002+05:30

It's hard to believe that one evening's casual but subtle conversations/discussions can change the course of lives. Fetterlock was mere a domain name purchased by my friend (I have no idea why the name). That evening, as usual, my friends were discussing about things in general. There may be very few topics on which we haven't still discussed. Unfortunately, I was absent from the meeting but the story took a turn which we never expected.
Lemme give you a little background. Roy and mittal, lived for 4 years in jwala hostel, iit delhi. Both from different departments and different wings. I'd say fate had something for them both. Mittal had started a company in his third year itself called mitbots. Due to some compatibility snags he had to withdraw from it. Roy, a cheerful, friendly and extremely resourceful young guy of our wing, met and came to know mittal when the latter was frustrated from politics and started visiting us frequently. Although we and him were of opposite sides but in final year, smart people lift themselves from petty politics and make friends rather than enemies. Now you know how Roy and mittal came along.
We had (actually we still have) a zone of "no embarrasment". That means we were all allowed to talk on any topic with any bias. This, I think, gives us an edge as we understand many things with possibly all angles. That evening, roy and mittal were discussing about the education system of India. Of course all past political regimes were blamed and cursed. Then mittal shared his experience about a college in Indore. He said, when he gave a lecture there (representing his previous firm), he noticed something strange. This was the wall of inequality between himself (an iitian) and normal engineering college student's skill set. His mind stuck on a single thing that how could this be. Are the students of those colleges are still paying the price for not clearing iitjee ? Or wether the education system is so blind that it ignores 90% of the students failing to qualify iitjee ? Is it being interpreted as an offense by the system ? So why are they not given the same quality education which we in iit received ? It'll not be a surprise if one notices the lack of even general awareness in them. To talk about other skills development is a total waste of time. To be very frank they don't even know how to make a resume! This took a toll on both mittal and roy and they decided to start fetterlock which aims at developing the skillset of any engineering student in varied vocational fields including web based entrepreneurial ideas. Today every firm needs an engineer. Any job which a doctor or a lawyer can't do, an engineer is game for it. So why shouldn't the engineers be trained in such a way that they stand out from a crowd? They started working on the model. Joined by some more guys gave them tremendous moral boost. I myself could only help them in "cheering up" department. It started from a mere thought which through our discussions got converted to concern and through hard work and brainstorming an idea got conceived. I think it has the potential to change the face of engineering education system in India. Consequently, they named the program as "better engineer", which I think is very relevant.

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800 views reached

2010-11-12T00:33:00.002+05:30

I See You

Aah , 10th of November 2010 marks the day when I reached 800 profile views (",)
Thanks everyone for the support.
With love
Hitu

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types of shit

2010-10-02T13:03:00.000+05:30

Ghost tatti (s h i t ) : The kind where you feel the tatti come out, but there is no tatti in the toilet.

Clean tatti : The kind where you tatti it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.

Wet tatti : The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and underwear so you wont ruin them with a stain.

Second Wave tatti : This happens when youre done tatti-ing and youve pulled up your pants to your knees, and you realize that you have to tatti some more.

Pop-A-Vein-In-Your-Forehead-tatti : The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.

Gassy tatti : Its so noisy, everyone within earshot is laughing.

Drinker tatti : The kind of tatti you have the morning after a long night of drinking. Its most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.

Lincoln Log tatti : The kind of tatti that is so huge youre afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.

Corn tatti : Self-explanatory.

Gee-I-Wish-I-Could-tatti tatti : The kind where you want to tatti but all you do is sit on the toilet and fart a few times.

Spinal Tap tatti : Thats where it hurts so badly coming out, you would swear it was leaving you sideways.

Wet Cheeks tatti (The Power Dump) : The kind that comes out of your butt so fast, your butt gets splashed with water.

Liquid tatti : The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out your butt and splashes all over the toilet bowl.

Mexican tatti : It smells so bad your nose burns.

The Surprise tatti : Youre not even at the toilet because you are sure youre about to fart, but oops.......a tatti!!!

The Dangling tatti : This tatti refuses to drop into the toilet even though you know you are done tatti-ing it. You just pray that a shake or two will cut it loose.

the arteries of my heart

2010-07-24T03:58:00.001+05:30

blogging is all about writing blah blah about yourself. so i have decided to dedicate this post for my friends, friends who helped me through very tough times of my life and the feelings for them are engraved on my heart forever. its just a one sided view from my side, some might think of me as an asshole as well ... but i am not going to go into that :Phmm, lets start chronologically :

nikki: my younger brother, he may be a medico for the rest of the world but i still see him as a kid who is always growing up and learning new things. in childhood days i used to overpower him, i accept that, but even when he could hit me back, he would never do that, considering the fact that i am a hot head, i am always amazed to see his composure and calmness. he is always there to hold me up whenever i am down and never tells me his worries. a true secretive scorpion and a caring brother. i guess all are not as blessed as i am in this department.
oonzie: well ... she has always been there for me on the phone when she was in mumbai. a great friend who cannot be traded for all the treasures in the world. childhood friends cannot be replaced i guess. i do remember my phone bills back then ... i dont have to tell that how much i miss you after you left for sydney :)
kamli: my class 11th and 12th classmate. my friend, my sister and my phone-mate. aah how much bills have i dropped on my father head, i wonder :) . she handled my crushes in my school time ... lol. sorry yaar i missed your marriage, i really regret that but i guess the world is too small. i will see you again and jiju in Sydney or may be you can come to India (i am so cheap :P)
mukul: the smart guy of the band. the true professional and a great friend. i have seen so many sun rises with him, of course other guys were also there :P . has a great interpretation of life which added significantly to my extensive experience in life :)
ghoda: he is my first acquaintance in AZ and later on became one of the "band of brothers". i have seldom seen him loose his temper except for one time when we both had a verbal fight :P. the AP team member, one of the gods of his Alma mater ;) ... haha i still remember the game we played till the end : nidhi priya gupta and nilanjana tolia ... haha ... great times
thapa: the karate kid !!! the exiled prince of Nepal :P ... hehe ... a true competition to my ego but a great friend. the sleeping beauty, as we refer to him as, is a true achiever. nothing comes to my memory that he decided to do and didnt got hold of, except for gals :P
bhaddu: the blood relative of "daaku kehar pratap" of the chambal valley, is a hell of an athlete and hence a star hockey player. he gives out a vibe resembling to that of a rock/stone but i know he has watched my back "un-revealingly".
bhaw: met him one day while playing a game of aoe. the daddy figure of our band. he has been an inspiration to me on how to handle people, although he sometimes is a hot head ;) . an excellent manager and a true friend.
mota: met him during ILLU . the blabber-mouth of our band, this creature is a unique piece. i sometimes think he's a distant relative of ET :P . the "under-radar" poltu, BK putra, my backchodi partner ... motu !!!
sas: the self crowned king of UT, just kidding, a god of UT and my best friend, more like an elder brother. has slapped me whenever i drank too much and blabbered around. considering my hot-head-ness he's the only person who can hit me without any notice. he showed me a different face of life, the things he has experienced, he's the bible of roller coaster life
parul: he (thats right, thats a guy :P), with his internet chatting charms, did teach us valuable lessons on "how to pataao a gal on chat" ... hehe, dude if niha bhabhi reads this you are dead ... although as far as i remember bhabhi ko bhi tumne chat pe hi pataya hai ... lol, greatest couple i have ever met.
dixi: another UT god, the sniper turned assaulter in CS. aah, head shot !!! :P ... the sex god of our band. i mean he used to give us tips on the same, dunno about how many he dated, on chat of course :P .... hehe
sahoo: the artist of our band. the god of rangoli, the goddess of beauty :P... hhehe ... and sheerie's heart stealer. we thought he was involved with "yousuf bhai" when we saw her coming out of his room one day ... lol, i was almost naked for crying out loud ... ohh man , sheerie knows about this ? you are also dead meat. anyways, his heart is at the right place, thats all that matters
cali: the cheerleader and the squeeze toy of our band. me and sas would drop our towels in front of him when he would be in "deep think" mode !!! lol ... i bet he still has those nightmares :P
punni: the cry baby of our band. "yaar, ye kya ho raha haiiiii", "ab to net bhi chud gayaaaa :'(". is bande ko daaru smell karke hi chad jaati hai :) ... we all added might not have travelled as much he has in those days, salla ghaasi :P ... attended his marriage in june, met the beautiful mrs simi and punni's family members. i still miss the kids :)
P: a friend that held me up in the most distressful times in my life. always participated in solving my problems more than me. its a very strange story how we first met. i fell for her for a long time, but yes i still stand on my stand on breaking my friendship with you. but i will always have a special place for you. not being an asshole but your contribution in saving me has been colossus.
nanu: my second cousin turned sibling :). the listener, the wise, the calm. if i had to use a metaphor, i'd use "moon" for her, considering her cool and pure nature, soothing and calming voice and thoughts. helped me in my dark days.
chikna (murgi ch%%#): vaise some guys had crush one him, a little birdie told me :P . my first acquaintance in iit delhi. a true professional for which i misunderstood him for a long time after first year and finally realized he was always one of the good guys. \__/
iroy: the bangali+arunanchali+delhi dude. the "never say no" , "party animal" , "the big nutts" IROY !! isne to DISCO mein bhi disco kar diya (not going further than that :P). the entrepreneur, phone frenzy has been one of my best friends ever. like my brother he too shows some very distinctive scorpion characteristics.
slomo: this tortoise genepool guy has been an inspiration for me and can well be a test subject for brain research. pata nahi kya kya chalta hai iske dimaag mein. if you enter his room, he will seem to be a lifeless creature and only after calling "abhaaaaayyyyy", he'd respond, otherwise come and go buddy :)
santri: the shagger of the senior wing, the painter and creator and destroyer of life :P ... hehe ... iitain turned panji(refer to 5 point someone) turned aoe champ turned trader. if i dig deep enough, i'd say that he is a great thinker but doesnt seem care too much abt it.
sardar: bhai, tu nahi hota to mein kaha jata :) ... i'd say to him ... my room lord in 3rd year. i teased him when he'd be sleeping and made weird noises :P ... haha ... fell in love with a beautiful girl "aadi". we all think he'd be the first one to get married amongst all the senior wing members :)
maarwadi: the karodpati of the wing ... lol ... the doper, the smoker (uhhmmm , i think we all were :P), 7-8 foot ki height hogi inki takreeban, bed itna lamba nahi tha, to double bed laga ke diagonally sote the ye janaab :) ... hehe ... DoTA stud ... kikked my butt many times but i have also hurt him bad at times :) ... DK yaad hai ? hehe, bhaagne bhi nahi diya tha :)
bibi: the bitch of the wing, the victim of sexual advances of PJ ... haha ... performed the pop song from "slim shady"'s album when he fried his brain for the first time. haha, still got those pics dude :). otherwise he is a very nice person, the people who live with him will understand.
JC: the chamiya of senior wing, the terminator 5 :) ... the common man ... kyunki common man humesha ch#$%#ta hai :P ... lol ... the density of his beard is of the order of the pixel density one gets in latest digicams :P ... haha ... star poker player but runs low on luck ... kya kare wohi common man waali baat aa jaati hai :P
PJ: the singer, the sexual predator of our senior wing. haha ... rohit bal's right hand man :P ... haha ... great friend very helping nature. his favorite quotes "kya kar rahe hooo?", "ohh, mein soch raha tha ki mein bhi chal leta hun tumhaare saath, kya matlab, kya karunga mein yaha room mein", "sush, sushant, sushie ... utho naa, class nahi jaaana hai ?" ... of course one cant make out the comedy in these lines unless you add a bihari accent to these and elongate certain stressed words and syllables :P ...
bibi ka dalla: the creator of the term used to describe "bibi and JC" collectively, "nakul sehdev", a seriously misunderstood dude. i misunderstood him till the end but realized that he is a very helping guy actually ... life shows many colors, people change their personalities to make friends, but if i recall , this guy has always been the same since the beginning and i really admire him for that :) ... cheers
lolly: hes gonna kill me , i gave him that name . his genetic inheritance from the pathans and the british makes him such a cool guy .... lol . my interiit partner from jwala ip. we have had great farting sessions between us ... sometimes ficky would be caught in the cross fire and he'd always say "yaar, kya kar rahe ho, tatti kha ke aaye ho kya ?" ... haha
naskar: the hugoda of our wing, the god of killer bad jokes, if he told a joke to a person in coma, he'd wake up to slap him, that bad ... apart from some tantrums hes been a good friend, but somethings that he did, did hurt, but eh well we did spend a good time together
moti khandelwal, moti goyal, moti agrawal and sookri jain ... my gal pals from himadri. helped me a lot in studies , interiit buddies :) , had a lot of fun in iit
cheeku: cheeku, my senior in iit delhi, fellow gemini and the jolliest person i have ever met. she will just brighten up your spirits like a firecracker. just awesome ... a fighter and and a survivor (5 year degree from iit delhi is deadly :P)

ohh , the list has gone so long ... i didnt realize there were so many people connected to my life who have contributed a part may it be small but they did. hmm , i thought i'd write something nice for each and everyone of them but ended up writing funny things about them. i guess thats the thing about friendship, you cant describe it, you just have to remember good memories which bring a smile to your face ... yeah ... imagine my face right now :) ... my cheeks are hurting now ... its been 3 hours since i am writing this one ... had to remember all the fk ups by the above :P ...hehe

600 views and growing

2010-07-21T03:35:00.000+05:30

recently got my 600th view ... :) ... thankx for sticking around ... :)
ciao

for all the johns and bipashas out there !!! :)

2010-06-21T19:21:00.007+05:30

only girls/guys with low self confidence, low self respect and low self esteem, dont have the balls (or watever is the females counter part for that phrase) put up their original pics on their public profiles. i know if you put some other profile picture it may be a message or for a cause or for WC, you know, but putting profile pics of aishwarya and rani ... lol. girls give reasons defending their privacy !!! guys think they look hunky in those pics of john and dino ... lol. woaahh, what a load of crap !!! all this privacy issue is bullshit, you guys/gals think gals/guys will go crazy over you and kill!!! haha, well boo hoo !!! try to face the world for cryin out loud !!!

for girls: dont worry we (guys) cant make MMS from your stupid profile pics ... lol.
for guys: dont worry putting pics of john wont vanish your tyre tube tummies :) ... lol

wow, its hard to make a point. so guys/girls(this is intended towards a specific section of males/females), grow up !!!

well, on second thoughts ... dont ... i need some live examples to prove my point .... :)

an ode to my bro

2010-04-12T10:28:00.004+05:30

had it not been for you, my bro
my iit days would be bleeding boring and slow

i still remember the first crime
we went places to be and to pass time

you inspired me to change my ways
cos dude, you have inherent nobility
and shine with supreme glory and daze

never telling me whats on your mind
but yet knowing whats on mine

there are secrets garrisoned in my head
but when we talk i have low gaurd
discussing through the memory boulevard

sharing a smoke after meals everyday
never paying for like a million ciggies
but always treating me lemonades at sassi's

booze being the "usual ones"
books being the "unusual ones"
gals being the "unnatural ones"
profs being the "unhuman ones"
i have never complained, but dude
now its time to part our ways for good
for now our time is coming to an end as it should
and eventually it would
for another bro will enter my life
with a new set of ideas and a new flight

here @iit time passes by so fast, yet so slow
had it not been for you, my bro
i would be a different star with a different glow
had it not been for you, my bro
had it not been for you, my bro

PS: Yes I do!

2010-01-02T18:26:00.003+05:30

It’s funny how life works out for you, but of course it takes time. They say time heals everything. Well, I actually have experienced it and yes I also know that most of the people do it too. It’s just that, everyone thinks of their story as the most agonizing, then enduring and at last the most inspiring one! My story is kind of like that too. At least I hope it’s like that. Today, I have one semester left and have already been placed and enjoying and waiting to gradually graduate from my college. But looking back in time makes me think about what all I lost and what all gained. It makes me realize that if you don’t let it go eventually life will make you let it go, it’s just that it will take much time if you don’t do the honors yourself. The previous part of the last line is true for me. Although only a few of my friends know about it already, but I promised myself that I would redeem my mistakes first and then tell others. It still hurts me sometimes when I am lonely, I guess that’s why I always keep myself busy with happy thoughts and sometimes I also get aggressive. The best thing I learned in life is what my father used to tell me all through my schooling days. “Whatever you do good son, it’s never wasted and returns to you with goodwill”. Today I realize it loud and clear that he was right and how I always meet my old friends and they tell me how we used to be good friends and how we helped each other in our studies in our school days. School – I have mostly forgotten about it, but can still hear the school bell, the sound of the morning-prayer drums. Those were the days which we all ruled our own little worlds. For 6 hours a day, we studied and dreamt of our futures, not about what we wanna be, but what will it be like when we grow up. Oh I know everyone thinks about the same stuff in those times. Then after tenth class results one suddenly realizes how on earth would these days (11th and 12th) get over? Because it’s so much to study! It’s been very long since I left school and it’s been a long graduation for me, but I figured better late than never. The four years in my college healed all my bruised past and gave me a new life. Yes, my love life has also not been one of the bests. In fact it’s not even near to that word - “best”. But I have learnt to live life fully and without regret. My motto changed from “accha karoge to accha milega” to “tension lene ka nahi, dene ka!” or commonly summarised as "agar kisi ki gaand mile to maar lo, kyuki jab tumhaari milegi kisi aur ko to wo maar hi lega!"
Whenever I find out that someone is wasting his life (I say “his” because I know girls don’t do stuff like that, they are more focused than guys), I feel concerned and those bad memories catch up on real quick. I know it’s very difficult to come out from a state of ignorance and shame to one with success and satisfaction. But once you do, it’s a relief; oh it’s such a relief. I have never settled for a lesser deal and I do what I think is right and not what others tell me is. And that actually worked out pretty well for me, I got lucky I guess. Or maybe it was time I got some payback from life itself.
But yet, I feel left behind, because now, people who were with me have already achieved so much. Of course I know that life doesn’t stop and while I was preparing myself to achieve something in life, others grew too. But still in some corner of my mind it bothers me a lot.
May be another me in some other parallel universe didn’t fuck up his life and got all what I dreamt and so wanted in life. I always see that other “me” in all the pictures of my friends I should have been in. The time I lost, I wish I get that back, but I know it’s not possible. I have changed a lot, I was once a shy guy with my own dreams and today this system made me a robot. I do it not because I should but because I must, otherwise this cruel world will eat you up. If I am even 10% of the man I was back then, I would make a good person outta me. But that guy died a long time ago. Only the metal body is left. I keep myself detached from other people so that I don’t get to put my time in their issues. I keep myself lonely, because last time it was hard to leave those friends behind.
I know I am being selfish but I somehow tell myself that I deserve to get away cleanly with it. Yup, after all these years! Yup, I do deserve it… do I?

PS: yes I do :)

coughing out my thoughts

2009-12-13T02:57:00.010+05:30

you know how people always think about how their life would be ten years down the line? do they really know? me neither!
i think there is much fun in your life when you allow it to unfold itself. its like, to open christmas presents on christmas eve. i always thought that i will follow this rule, but wait a minute ... am i not doing the same here? planning my life to let it unfold itself? it makes me wonder if human beings are robots and infact they always were robots all along, they just dont realise it. i guess the invention of robotics and advanced AIs are just mere extensions of true human self. the mere thought of controlling every godamm parameter.
i mean, have you ever spent 2 minutes with yourself and not thought of anything, anything at all? the answer is NO, you havent! neither have i. i wonder if there was a way to switch off or go on "stand by" mode, just too see what happens when i dont think, at all! i cant even paint the picture. same old things popping in the head, "i have to eat","i have to sleep","i have gottu shit" ... and belive me i have tried not to think and keep my mind blank for just 1 second. fk! cant do it! really cant. the moment i stop thinking, something pops up, like "ohh shit, my battery is low" ... or ... "what did i eat today?" ... or ... "hmm hmm hmm" ... or ... "whose singing?". you cannot put the brakes on your brain!
you guys think i have gone nutts, but the truth is, we humans are the freakiest when we are alone. dont belive me? lets have and example shall we.
* how many of you donot pick your nose when you think no ones watching? answer: no one! :)
* how many of you donot fantasize yourself with your favorite celebrity? answer: no one :)
* how many of you donot want to walk around naked when you are sure that no one is gonna walk in? answer: no one :)
* how many of you dont feel disgusted when you fart (i am not saying bad, i am saying hiroshima bad :P)? answer: no one :)

there are many more examples, but i guess these are the very basic ones. there are weirder cases too but i will not go into that, i guess we like them all but dont like to discuss them. and i know we shouldnt! otherwise tomorrow you meet this guy named "nathan" who you know likes to walk naked when alone, you'll address him like this: "hi nake-than" ... i will not be surprised if you even see him naked ... of course, thats in your head but wont that be a sight? ... lol ...
in the nutt shell i just wanna tell you guys that mind has no limits, and by that i mean in every dimensions.
woaah ... ohh man, i thought i was doing my "not thinking thingy!"
so much for the peace of mind, eh?

keep thinking ... the moment you stop thinking ... you are dead!

Be kind: act aloof ;)

2009-11-26T12:30:00.000+05:30

I would like to share a mail with you which was forwarded to me from my friend, it is very relevent for all those college going peeps :)

"Life is one of those races in nursery school where you have to run with a marble in a spoon kept in your mouth. If the marble falls, there is no point coming first. Same with life, where health and relationships are the marble. Your striving is only worth it if there is harmony in your life. Else, you may achieve the success, but this spark, this feeling of being excited and alive, will start to die.

One thing about nurturing the spark - don't take life seriously. Life is not to be taken seriously, as we are really temporary here. We are like a prepaid card with limited validity. If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is just 2,500 weekends. Do we really need to get so worked up?

It's ok, bunk a few classes, goof up a few interviews, take leave from work, fall in love. We are people, not programmed devices........." :)

"Don't be serious, be sincere." !

बुढे बच्चे - अशोक चक्रधर

2009-10-28T14:11:00.001+05:30

The Last Letter

2009-10-24T12:03:00.008+05:30

Dear Jamal
Someone i once knew wrote that we walk away from our dreams, afraid that we may fail or worse yet, afraid that we may suceed. You need to know that while i knew so very early that you would realise your own dreams, i never imagined i would once again realise my own. Seasons change young man, and while i may have waited untill the winter of my life to see the things this past year, there is no doubt i would have waited too long, had it not been for you.

William

===========================================================

Last letter written by william forrester to jamal wallace in the movie "finding forrester", before william dies and is recieved after his death. And the movie ends with the following song:

all the writers ought to see this master piece, plus the character of william forrester is played by the great "sir sean connery"

funda

2009-10-16T12:26:00.000+05:30

life will test you time and again, but stand up to those and dont give in, do as daddy does ... ohh yes i am the daddy :)

note

2009-10-05T10:03:00.001+05:30

there are only 2 kinds of students in a class :
1) back-benchers, and
2) that-benchers

Quotes on IITians

2009-09-04T01:08:00.002+05:30

“These guys are total studs. Just like me.”

~ Oscar Wilde on IITians

“I love those guys.”

~ Oscar Wilde on IITians

“Shhh....Meet me at the Mining department later tonight”

~ IITian to Oscar Wilde

“IIT is t3h l33t.”

~ God on IIT

“We are 'GAWDS'.”

~ IITians on themselves

“So am I.”

~ Douglas Adams on the previous quote

“We the IITians are like rockets. We never study until our ass is on fire.”

~ An IITian

“Fuck”

~ A girl on seeing the IIT-JEE question paper

“You think getting into IIT is difficult? Try getting out!”

~ disguntled IITian on IIT

“In IIT, department chooses YOU”

~ Russian reversal on IIT

“Oh, you are an IITian. You must be very intelligent.”

~ What every IITian wants to hear

“Couldn't you secure admission in ITI?”

~ What every IITian acutally hears from 'people having no clue'

STORY OF FISH & SHARK

2009-07-30T13:44:00.002+05:30

This is mail was forwarded to me from my friend ... i would like to share it

======================================

Here is a story of fish and shark, you might like it.

The Japanese have always loved fresh fish. But the water close to Japan has not held many fish for decades. So to feed the Japanese population, fishing boats got bigger and went farther than ever. The farther the fishermen went, the longer it took to bring the fish. If the return trip took more time, the fish were not fresh. To solve this problem, fish companies installed freezers on their boats. They would catch the fish and freeze the at sea.. Freezers allowed the boats to go farther and stay longer. However, the Japanese could taste the difference between fresh and frozen fish. And they did not like the taste of frozen fish.
The frozen fish brought a lower price. So, fishing companies installed fish tanks. They would catch the fish and stuff them in the tanks, fin to fin. After a little thrashing around, they were tired, dull, and lost their fresh-fish taste. The fishing industry faced an impending crisis!
But today, they get fresh-tasting fish to Japan . How did they manage?
To keep the fish tasting fresh, the Japanese fishing companies still put the fish in the tanks but with a small shark. The fish are challenged and hence are constantly on the move. The challenge they face keeps them alive and fresh! Have you realized that some of us are also living in a pond but most of the time tired and dull? Basically in our lives, sharks are new challenges to keep us active. If you are steadily conquering challenges, you are happy. Your challenges keep you energized. Don't create success and revel in it in a state of inertia.. You have the resources, skills and abilities to make a difference. Put a shark in your tank and see how far you can really go!

"Weakness of attitude, becomes weakness of character"

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Dirty Secrets: :)

2009-06-25T02:17:00.006+05:30

1. Until you realize how important is to get up early in the morning, you can’t be successful, but as a humble IITian, I always do what we do best, sleep!!

2. Get over it, otherwise you’ll get under it, and it ain’t pretty down here.

3. Obliging people is good until it turns into ass licking.

4. Don’t beat yourself for what you did or didn’t do, beat the guy responsible for it.

5. If life is hard on you, it’s about time you toughened up; otherwise you’ll be like a tomato run over by a car.

6. Never try to fart when you feel like shitting, otherwise you’ll SHART, and my friend it is not good.

7. If your GF forgot her panties in your apartment, your roommate is gonna have a hell of a time.

8. You cannot compare the pain of labor and the pain of getting kicked in the nards. Next time I see an alien, I gotta ask it the same.

9. Farting is the ultimate male bonding phenomenon. The louder it is, the more comfortable you are.

10. I dunno why IT is called love making, but it’s clear that a woman came up with it. They always "make" their way.

11. The stairway to heaven is actually straight. Your decisions make it freak in wavy.

12. All men are dogs. It’s just that, some are better trained, by their mistresses of course.

13. People who think that if they stop following chicks will make the latter follow them are pessimistically optimistic and that’s sad because that is not going to happen.

14. Girls love attention. I always make sure I do that thinking it’s my lucky day. No risk no gain baby!!

15. Never talk to breasts. First, they don’t reply back. Second, you could get slapped. Third, you could get lucky, but it happens only in dreams and if it does actually happen, gimme a call, asap!!

16. If you get caught by your parents with a femina in your room, I am going to beat you more than they do because there is better stuff you could have enjoyed before getting caught, you dumbass !!

17. If you work too hard and crack your ass, only shit will fall.

Faces in the Dark

2009-06-01T05:20:00.004+05:30

there are faces in the dark
they light up my heart with a spark

its so dark, its so lonely says my heart
i hope there comes a light
i hope to see the light

i feel like reaching up the space
to eat the sun for its light and grace
then i will ask my heart, "is that enough for you dear?"
for its clear
that no light can light up my heart but you
but i cant find you as i have no clue

past gives a beacon to future
about the oncoming torture
of the life i have spent
and what all will i repent
but not to worry, my heart says
for there are many meadows to graze

i believe my time will come
yes it will come
for i believe in believing my heart
for i have become smart
to smell the fragrance in the air
which reminds me of you there

there are faces in the dark
they light up my heart with a spark

its so dark, its so lonely says my heart
then there comes a light
there comes the light

Na tum jaano na hum ...

2009-06-01T04:41:00.005+05:30

today i just feel like writing again ... its4:30 in the morning and i cant sleep ... just finished watching the movie "na tum jaano na hum" ... i know , people say its a crappy movie but theres a special place for hrithik in my family ... becos my bro always posed like him since he's(hrithik) on screen ... and my bro is the glue that holds our family together ... really ...
anyways ... after watching the movie i started thinking about the theme ... i know its a very cliche theme but still worth thinking about ... so many people around think like that ... i mean the plot is "girl falls in love with a guy through mail correspondance, guy turns out to be best friend of a guy who is going to marry the girl, in the end both meet at last and live happily ever after"... in the end it says : sometimes one has to leave it to God ... well i dont believe the "God" part but yeah i guess sometimes one has to leave things to fate (if at all i have to name it) ... for a guy its difficult to admit but my score is 5-0 ... hehe ... i mean i have told 5 girls and they all have rejected me ... and in the end when i finally find the one i know i will be thankfull (i put a double L to stress my thankfulness) to all of the 5 girls i proposed :)
There is always a face in one's thoughts ... the tricky thing is ... that face keeps changing with time ... and the best face that fits there is the one i guess ... (face is metaphorically used here)

wo aisi hogi wo waisi hogi ... wo aise hasti hogi wo aise gussa karti hogi ... all these thoughts started coming in my mind after the movie ... it always feels good when you think about it ...
the most scary part is that one might even have passed by one's "the one" and might not even have known ... but one thing is for sure when i meet her , we will just click ! i know its a very pessimistically optimistic statement to make but yeah i like to think about it that way ... after all the world is far and largely optimistic ... :)

the past makes people a bit choosy and cautious but i still think that the search for the one should be done through one's heart and not head :)

laods of people give up this search and settle down for a low bargain, but its not their fault ... our roots, our family, our society demands us of that ... its difficult to cope with everyone at same time like this ... thats a thought that shakes my mind oftenly ...

There is a someone special for everyone ... may be they'd find them ... i say may be becos i firmly believe in probability theory ... probabilty defines and dictates everyone's life ... i just keep taking my chances :)

so go out and break free and search for what you really want ... and the more you search , the more are the chances you'll find "the one" ... i just hope i find mine :)

hope floats ...

my favorite writems :)

2009-03-21T01:48:00.005+05:30

the following are my most favorite writems, some are old ... i just wated to renew them :) ... plzz bear with me :)

since i don't personally like the number 6 ... so here's one more :)

scary story

luvs

hitu

minor 1 : sem 6

2009-02-14T00:23:00.005+05:30

ohh man , i have two minor exams tomorrow and i think my ass is gonna blow up cos this is sure that nothings going into my head :)
today too i had two exams , what is up with the iit system !!! i think in very near future they are going to have all the exams on same day :)
too much jokes ... ohh my friend just came in and handed me the notes , i think i will have to study now :) ... gottu go ... later

i wonder: things i learnt in recent years

2008-11-30T19:52:00.004+05:30

* sometimes one has to sack one's feelings just for the sake of friendship :) ... such a special and great thing friendship is
* desire but don't expect
* one doesn't get everything in life, but one should know that one can do wonders with what is already there in one's life
* friends are not forever, but friendship is !
* peace of mind will not get the target, but achieving the target would certainly bring peace to the mind
* always remember that after a long night, there's always a bright sunshine waiting for you, just be patient :)
* grab the opportunity when it comes, because if you wont someone else will !
* life without challenges and failure does not exist, always accept your defeat with humility
* terrorism sucks, discrimination sucks more
* the most difficult job is of a joker/humorist, he/she will always show you a smiling face even his/her heart is crying
* a smile is one thing one can always afford to give others for free
* do not worry how others are going to grade you, just do your job, someone is always watching and admiring you
* family always comes first, do whatever, say whatever, you can't escape your roots
* a good listener is needed by everyone, so find at least one friend who understands you when you speak your heart
* don't show your anger to everyone, because they will not understand
* life is always empty, it will take a life time and you wont be able to fill it up, so don't try to fill it up, because if you do, there will be nothing left for you to do :)
* man made religion to feel secure and be united, there's one more thing that can serve the purpose and that is understanding and compassion
* past will expose your scars, embrace yourself and live in present to brighten the future

life: revisited

2008-05-25T03:16:00.004+05:30

looking back at time, i realize
theres nothing worth back there to memorize

all the things i saw, i felt
were just the ones which i held

the way people looked at me
the way they mocked me
never really hurt a lot
but some wounds leave hard clot

its funny how you find friends in a lot
and disgusting when you find out who's the rotten snot

people say people lie
i say i fly ... i lie
so does that make me better or worse
why is the battle between good and bad so fierce

full moon is only seen once a month
rest are all the days it'll be incomplete up front
but you see, the night of the full moon
washes away all the pain as if its a boon

i say life had been hard on me
i never thought i would have to see such days of pain and horror
but again, you never know when the monsoon comes
cleansing and healing all your lows and bums
telling you that dude, there is more to life as it seems to be
seems to be ... seems to me ...

a good person

Scary Story (rating PG:15)

2008-05-15T14:39:00.004+05:30

This is one of the stories, actually bed time stories, which friends share with each other to scare the shit outta each other ...

There's a village called Rajgarh. The story starts when two friends were returning back to their homes. Its a quite late and the road is kinda the one seen in horror movies - ie ... sunsaan sadak and wild animals can be heard.
Suddenly one of the friends, Rajesh, sees something white standing behind the tree. He felt kinda weird and afraid. He told about it to his friend. He too saw that white man like figure standing behind the banyan tree. In those days, rumors of a ghost in the woods was spreading. So the guys were scared. They started walking in the opposite direction so as to evade the horror encounter. They realized that the white figure lowered down as they moved away from it. Out of curiosity, they again went in its direction. The white figure again stood up. Now they were really scared. They thought the ghost was kinda sadist one. They started running towards the village at max speed. The ghost now started following them.
Finally they reached the village and fainted.
When they regained consciousness they saw the white figure at their faces, but that wasn't the white ghost. That was Kasturi Ram wearing white kurta and dhoti. Now they knew that wasn't a ghost but they couldn't figure out why Kasturi didn't tell them earlier that it was him and also the fact that he kept standing and sitting.
Then Kasturi explained that actually he was there shitting behind the banyan tree. When he realized that Rajesh and his friend were trying to peek, he stood up. When they receded, he got down to business. That explained the up-down stunt of the "Ghost" !!!! haha

Fcuk IT !!!

2008-03-08T16:37:00.001+05:30

bas bahut hua ab ... i am through with this ... ye sab salla exam-time pe hi hota hai yaar ... so much daaru , so much sutta ... yeah yeah it was my friends birthday i know ... now i'm gonna study for my exams ... YEAH RIGHT , LIKE YOU would believe that huh ...

ok i that was my frustation which i took out in my style :P ...

this blog's main topic wasnt that though ... its rather very "sidelined topic"
some days back while playing my "TriIIT challenger tournament", my team-mate got hurt and i took him to AIIMS for medical aid ... i never thought i would see so much suffering in a single day , my friend just had a swollen hand and when we entered the "Emergency Ward" , we could see so many patients ... some even had missing limbs ... i was just choked, i thought that i was the luckiest person in the world to have not suffered as others were at that moment ... unfair it seems, life is sometimes , isn't it? i was momentarily relieved, i know that was selfish but i really did feel that way, but soon i realized that there are so many people in this world in need of help, care and compassion ... and me being fortunate enough was not contributing in helping those who needed it the most ... what can I do ? I'm still studying, i dont have time for all this ... or am I just making excuses ?

Can't Stop

2008-03-06T11:53:00.000+05:30

What do you do?

2008-03-06T11:35:00.003+05:30

What do you do when you fart in your bed in winters?

What you do when you suddenly realize that your pants are torn from behind?

What do you do when you realize that you came out unzipped from the loo?

What do you do when apply gel on you hair and they don’t set as you wished them to be?

What did you do when you came to know that Santa isn’t real?

What do you when you intend to fart sub-audibly but you end up getting a “boom” and that too in company?

What do you do when you meet a familiar person and fail to recall his/her name?

What do you do when you “accidently” blow up the electrical fuse?

What do you when the person peeing besides you starts staring at you?

What do you do when you encounter a gay person?

What do you do when you are sitting with your folks and all of a sudden a “hot and steamy” scene shows up on T.V.?

What do you do when your friend backstabs you?

What do you do when someone yells at you for no reason in particular?

What do you do when a person breaks your heart?

What do you do when you think life is unfair to you?

What do you do ….blah-blah-blah…

Is there a world which doesn’t have complications? My answer: if there was one, then surely there wouldn’t be humans in it. I believe that every person speaks out of his/her own experiences and most of them are common. So chill and don’t worry as you are not the only one suffering and gloating. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! All suffer and still all survive, that’s the beauty of life.

Ciao.

I LOVE RHCP

2008-02-03T20:40:00.000+05:30

Road Rage

2008-01-13T18:17:00.000+05:30

It’s a bit odd that people in Delhi complain about the ill mannered traffic, when they themselves, at some point of time in their life, are involved in what we call “Road Rage”. This is the most widespread disease in any metro city, but Delhi is the worst hit. It is more profound than AIDS and any other disease. I, myself, am a patient of this particular disease. Though my views can be biased, but unbiased views are really hard to find. The one who drives will definitely be biased, the one who doesn’t, doesn’t really know what to say. So there’s no question of unbiased view.
Anyways, coming back to the topic, I was infected when my dad gave me the steering and said, “Here, now you take over son”. I didn’t really realize back then. But later I realized that I always turned into a monster whenever I took my baby for a ride. I dunno if it was just me or the feeling of taking full control makes you step hard on gas. Five, four, three, two, one …GO!!! That’s what I think when I’m at the traffic lights. I guess every young person has a hormone that causes this. But touch wood, I have still not met with an accident. May be its luck, may be my skill. I cannot be modest nor can I be proud of this. Now you guys will think that if I have gone banana! Well as a matter of fact, I still am a road beast. But the only thing good in this beast is that now it also respects others on the road. I still wanna race @ 100 kmph, but I wouldn’t do it if others are at potential danger. Perhaps I would race that much on an expressway (the Gurgaon one or the Noida one :)).
Not that my conscience came to me all of a sudden, there was an incident (accident) which made me change my mind. When I used to live in Noida, I and my family were coming back from a mall and I was driving. It so happened that a man with a kid in his arms and another one holding his hand was crossing the road. I was @ 60 and they suddenly came before me. There was a screeching voice of the brakes. Hey! I didn’t hit the guy. Chill out! But it scared the hell outta me. As a reflex I started swearing at him. This man, I dunno what he did. He sort of gave me a look or a stare, didn’t even say a word and walked away. May be he looked at me in disgust. May be he just looked down upon me in amusement as I was the one who lost it. Now the car is not in motion but there’s a bullet train running in my head. Those were the worst 5-6 seconds of my life. My dad sort of expressed his disappointment for my behavior. I don’t remember the words but I’m sure that everyone in the car struck me off their “favorites list”. Though I have made up for that to them since then by controlling my anger. But I never gottu see that man again. I feel sorry that I screamed at him despite my fault. May that’s “Road Rage” and I promised myself that I would be considerate of others on the road too.
Road Rage is the most wide spreading disease in metros and the worst part is that our govt. is not doing anything about it. That’s why I wrote this to tell my friends that expressing one’s anger in a way that hurts others is not the best solution, especially when you are on the road because when you are on the road, you have slight odds that you wouldn’t return safe back home. So why add more to those odds? So my friends! Drive slow and care for others on the road. c ya later

EarthQuake !!!

2007-11-26T05:54:00.000+05:30

My fingers are still numb as i write this one ... i'm not sure wat was the intensity of this one ... i'm just relieved that i'm fine ... my family is safe and my friends are alright ...
i was in the hostel and trying to study for my exams ... i still dont remember clearly what happened ... at 4:44 am, i think the room started shaking loudly approximately for 5-6 seconds ... in the first 1-2 seconds i realised it was a big one ... i started running to warn others as i thought others would be sleeping ... many had come out of their rooms ... then our junior wing guys were swarming in the stairs ... i yelled at them for running on the stairs ... i guess i thought it would be wise to avoid a stampede situation ... by then the shaking had gone ... uggghh ... at that moment i remembered all my family members ... i still get goosebumps when i think about it ... ok now i m going back to sleep ... i dont think the quake is gonna come back again , but u never know eh ... to all my friends i love you all ... hitu

Biting nails

2007-10-19T17:06:00.000+05:30

This is probably one of the most followed “bad” habits in the world. People do it knowingly as well as unknowingly. I, myself have this habit and I can’t help myself giving it a rest. Usually I do it when I am thinking hard or concentrating on a something (book, movie or even a thought). Even right now, while writing this blog, I am biting my nails. I don’t yet know what I’m going to write about biting nails though. Let’s try…

Ok, when would any one bite nails? May be when nervous, may be due to lack of confidence, may be too much self consciousness, may be a case like me, etc. anyone who is biting nails, one thing is for sure, that person is surely thinking about something. Hey stop judging me! Have you ever seen a monkey biting its nails? Basically it’s a psychological effect in humans during the thought process. It could have its advantages and disadvantages.

Advantages:
* You don’t have to buy a nail cutter.
* You are lesser prone to diseases.(No nails less bacteria)
* Dental exercise.
* You are always tidy.
Disadvantages:
* You can’t pick up coins over a flat surface.
* You can’t scarface your enemies. (For the girls!)
* You can’t scratch properly :P

There many more which others could think of, I could just think of these only. Anyways biting nails is an addiction and I do it proudly. If somebody would point it out, then I would do it just to piss that person off. haha.
Keep up the good work people!

numb thumb

2007-10-11T14:33:00.001+05:30

well i guess my hockey days are getting worse ... man i got some unknown injury in my foot thumbs !!! strange , eh ... i dunno wat exactly happened , but i think when i was running on the field , some muscle strechd and this thing happened !!! after that everything is right , but i cant feel my foot thumbs for crying out loud !!! i called m doc bro ... he says its some kinda sprain or something.

but noticing the fact that it has been like a week or two and no improvement has been seen by me , i guess i will have to live with it :S ... i hope it gets better .... wish me luck

और प्यार हो गया

2007-10-09T11:10:00.000+05:30

हां मुझे तुझसे प्यार है,

पहले सोचा ‘love at first sight’ तो नहीं,
फिर बैठ कर सोचा गलत है या सही,
ये सब infatuation ना हों; बाद में ये खयाल भी आया,
पर दिन भर रात भर तेरा ही चेहरा सामने पाया,

तेरा वो बात बात पे मुसकुराना ,
तेरी तरफ कर दिया है मैंने अब ये दिल रवाना,
बस अब आस है कि अपना ले तू इस दिल को,
Then really में निकल पडेगी मेरी तो!

‘तू तो गया’, सब दोस्त कहते है अब,
सब साले मेरी लेते रहते है अब,
पर क्या कारूं , अब इन नसों में मेरी गुस्सा नहीं बैहता,
बस तेरा ही खयाल रहता है, मेरा दिल अब ये ही कहता है रहता,

दिल के घाव थे पुराने भी,
कुछ हरे कुछ सूखे भी,
तुझे देख कर सब हो गया सही,
पता नहीं तुझमें क्या है वो कशिश ,
मेरी life के अंधीयारो को तू कर देती है vanish,

बस इक इशारा कर दे मेरी जान,
तेरे लिए छोड दुन्गा ये दुनिया ये जहाँ,
वादा करता हूँ कि life long,
बजेगी अपने प्यार की ting tong,

क्या सोच रही है? तू ही तो है वो जिससे मुझे प्यार है,
तू भी अब बोल दे कि तुझे भी मुझसे प्यार है,
क्यूँकी मुझे तुझसे प्यार है,
हाँ मुझे तुझसे प्यार है…

Dreams Unlimited

2007-10-07T16:24:00.002+05:30

Its funny how mind works, huh. One would always wish what one’s mind thinks is what one wants it to think. If I start talking about the dreams one can have, that would really strike some strings. Well, I am not a “mind reader”, but I guess if Darwin was right about human evolution, adaptation and perseverance, I think I could find many people connecting their stories and thoughts to mine. Anyways, I’m not going to tell any story this time. Stories give moral and I really don’t want anyone to follow my story’s “teachings”.

Interestingly, when I start dreaming, it’s like, I am a director of some movie or play. I mean my dream proceeds in different scenarios and locations. What amazes me how I find only familiar faces doing the “roles”. Even funnier thing is that even my “actors” in utter disguise are effortlessly recognizable (I know, it would make a crappy movie, if that’s what you are thinking). But seldom do I get to see a new movie in my dreams. Those rare moments would be: when I meet new people or get to know something about a known person which changes his/her “image” considerably in my mind.
In my opinion, dreams don’t just come like that. They do have a purpose, may be they bring to foreground the things one sometimes might ignore. It works for me. May be, the unconscious mind catches some details which the “busy” conscious mind might miss at first go. I think they also help people to introspect and realize their mistakes which when conscious, they would never do. May be that’s why we don’t really tell others about our dreams. Hai na?
Sadly, dreams are extremely short-lived. One tends to forget the dreams one gets, though they are such an integral part of one’s-self. I usually get up in the morning and write down “important points” about the interesting new dream I had the last night. Yeah, I know that’s a freaky thing to do. But I think that’s the only way one can get to know one’s dreams as no-one can recall dreams if asked about. And I think dreams really do tell one’s self a great deal about the true nature one has. I have learnt a lot about my self through my dreams and I intend to continue that in future too.

Coming up ...

2007-10-07T16:24:00.001+05:30

Déjà vu

Clash of the Titans

2007-09-26T17:48:00.000+05:30

India Vs Pakistan … That too in a T20 World Cup Final!!!

That was one heck of a game. Let me take you back in time. Well I was supposed to play a hockey practice match. I knew the match was to start at 4:30 pm, but I had to go to the match as our coach had organized it. We played ok, but that’s not what this is about, isn’t it?
I don’t have a cable connection or a dish T.V. at my place. I didn’t want to miss this match as I had already missed India Vs Australia and South Africa … man those were some matches! So while returning back home, I decided to land into my bhaiyya and bhabhi’s place. Amazingly I found my parents also there already, talk about the cricket crazy country, huh.
Well RP, Pathan did a good job with the ball, but we all were damn angry at bhajji and shreesanth for blowing it off. But hey, I think somebody had to take the edge of the knife, after all it’s the pakis we were playing with. Towards the end Mizbah-ul-Haq really gave all of us a chill when he hit bhajji for a six three times in the same over. Later too in the last over he hit a six and we all thought it was over. But something happened there which I think led me to believe that It was India’s day all along. I can still hear all of us screaming and hopping with joy as Misbah was caught by shreesanth. “Bless u shree”, must have been the words of almost every Indian. It was a very close match and I appreciate how pakis fought till their last wicket. I am not sure Indians in the same position would have put up the same fight as the pakis did. Moreover, Pakistani team has more fans in India than in Pakistan (no offence but that’s true). I still remember when I saw Shahid Afridi, Aqib Javed, Sayeed Anwar surrounded by huge crowd … in Chandigarh, when they were there for a World Cup Match against Sri Lanka. I personally feel that the T20 World Cup winners are both India and Pakistan, but if you must have a winner, so be it.

Letting a Secret Out

2007-09-24T08:31:00.000+05:30

I have been longing to tell you my secret. I can’t believe you don’t see right through me and see the person beneath this thin shell of mine. I am the guy of your dreams masquerading as your best friend. I just hope that you would understand my love. I am trapped in a pit and help seems to be minimal. I never expected this to go this far, but after coming so far I don’t seem to regret my decision anymore. Future is unknown and inevitable, so there’s little I can do about it. But the present is with me and I am with you today. All I need is a chance. You are in my soul I know and I have no intentions of getting you out of there. Love is about building a bridge of chances and there’s nothing wrong in it.
Sometimes I just feel helpless, clueless and deserted. Then I think of you and all the problems cease to exist. I am a very defensive person; I don’t let people in so easily. But when it comes to you, I just want to surrender. Is it really love, which makes me feel that way? What else can explain this? Now you know how much I love you.
Having said all this, why do I still feel guilty for pursuing my love? Deep down, I want you to be happy, even if it is on the cost of my love for you. My love, just promise one thing that you will always be happy and do me a favor: don’t ever feel sorry for me. Because then my love will loose its meaning and essence.

Fake Story

2007-09-11T12:16:00.000+05:30

This is about a guy called Ashu and a gal named Tanuja. Just like any other love story, this one is also a happy ending. Or is it?
It all started way back when Ashu met Tanuja. They say it was love at first sight, for Ashu it was. Well, Tanuja didn’t think Ashu was the “one”. Anyways, Ashu took the refusal a bit hard. She was already so much a part of his life. What could he do to convince her, he had nothing to say. After all, he can’t force her to fall in love with him, isn’t it? So he did the right thing and tried to forget her. But he remained her friend as he had known her for so long. (Oh, sorry I forgot to mention that they both knew each other for a long time through e-mail correspondence)
Time passed, Ashu graduated from college, got a job and went to join an MNC. Ashu had done well for himself since the “refusal”. It was really difficult to get out of that period, but he is a fighter. Fortunately he got a job in the same city as Tanuja. She also worked for a reputed firm. She was with someone else, Ashu knew that already. Time passed … what was to come, really was destiny.
Ashu had for a long time almost stopped talking to Tanuja as he thought it would be inappropriate for him to be a friend to a girl whom he loves. One day, he accidentally runs into her as both meet at a mall. They both talk, old memories become green again. She also tells Ashu that she is single again. Ashu doesn’t ask her about it any further as he knows how it goes. Anyways, Ashu and Tanuja again start talking like they used to long time ago. Since then, they both are there for each other. Well, obviously Ashu loves her, but this time Tanuja also starts to fall for him. Now both of them meet every now and then, just enjoy life as they never did before.
Soon, Ashu decides that its time to tell his parents about Tanuja, and he does. His parents are happy and want both of them to get married as most parents think. So they plan along with Ashu’s friends.
Next day, Ashu and Tanuja were at the beach, as usual on a date. To their amusement, they find Ashu’s parents and his friends all dressed up nice and coming towards them. Ashu and Tanuja are both confused about what was going on. They all take both of them to the court and get them married. It was nice, every face was happy and every soul enlightened. Maybe one should always be hopeful after all. But what’s this? Why is it so dark all of a sudden? Uggh, its just 4 a.m.! Ashu gets up in his bed startled, soon realizing that it was all a dream, nothing else. Since what part he started dreaming, it is a mystery yet. All in all, he did have a good time with Tanuja, even in the dream if it was. He is disappointed though, but he will be okay. After all, it was just a dream. They are destined to be broken. Ain’t they?

Life, Death .... Rebirth ....

2007-08-19T17:10:00.000+05:30

It’s like I’m living two lives. I feel like I died long ago due a prolonged illness. And now this is my rebirth and I still remember the past. I don't know what the reason was of my fatal illness in the last life but it must have been damn bad. It’s like I still remember the past. I walk through time, I meet my friends, enjoy the best days, but amidst all this when I see my last days, I feel choked. Then I realize how good my life is now than the same back then. In the last life I think I was a good person, but I think I just didn’t fit in and hence perished away.

Sometimes I think I’m just like the mythical "phoenix", which burns itself in flames and is reborn from its ashes. But of course myth and reality don’t go hand in hand. Then why do I remember things from the past? Does it have a role to play in my later life? Or is it just another phase, which will wash away in time. I don’t like the past life, but surely I don’t want to completely erase it outta my mind. All the good times I spent, people I cared for, people I loved, it all comes back to me so often.

People say that one should exhale one's past, breath in the present and wait till you exhale the present as the new past and breath in the future as the new present. That’s the cycle life takes. But in my case I can't exhale the past, in addition to that I also want to breathe in the present. I'm just not sure how big my lungs are! Well all jokes apart, the world has changed a lot as it was in the past. Everything back then was so different - simpler, of course. Sometimes I do come across things that remind me of the past. Then I get confused about the life I’m leading. Am I still living in the past?
--- A confused mind

For my sister(s)

2007-08-13T10:36:00.000+05:30

I have always missed having a real sister. Since childhood I would wonder why I didn’t have one while others did. That was the time when I used to believe in “god” and used to pray a lot. Eh, well, everyone’s wishes don’t come true. So didn’t mine. Anyways, since always I have countered this problem by making sisters in whatever social institution or group I used to go to. May it be school, my neighborhood or whatever place wherever I went. I don’t know what I was searching for. May be I wanted to pacify my mind that I don’t have a sister, may be it was the anger that I didn’t have one. I wanted to have some person who would listen to me calmly and support me whenever I went vulnerable. I am not saying that I don’t like to talk to my brother. I do, but again, its human nature that we miss the most what we don’t or can’t have.
Well I made many sisters in school, and I still have very nice relations with almost all of them. I say “almost” because due to the tide of time, I lost touch with most of them. Some found me through “orkut” whereas some couldn’t. Anyways I’m glad to whatever end I have reached in my life and I’m happy that I’m at very good terms with all my old friends (including my sisters).
Well, in the past few years I also grew close to some of my cousins as till then I was kinda introvert towards my family members. Funny! huh? It is. Again I wanna make clear that it’s not only the cousin sisters I grew close to, but also my brothers. As this article is solely dedicated to all my sisters, that’s why I’m talking about them only.
To be honest, maybe I blamed my parents for not “providing” a sister, but it was long time back and I was not mature enough to understand that. I don’t think like that anymore though. I love my sisters and am extremely possessive about them and cannot watch them in any sort of despair. I know every brother thinks like that, but again I would only say that everyone puts his/her feelings at utmost priority than others.
To all my sisters, I wanna say I love you all and although I have told you this many a times, I would again keep on saying it. “Hitu”, “Pasu”… by whatever name you all know me, will always be there for you. Of course I didn’t have to mention that but I really did have to.
Ciao, love and take care
Hitu/Pasu

Interpretations

2007-07-10T11:50:00.000+05:30

Hardest thing: to let go
Easiest thing: to lie
I hate: easy things

Most important: friendship
Least important: petty personal ego

Most beautiful: a friendly face in the dark
Most ugly: darkness engulfing that friendly face

Attraction: is real
Love: isn’t, but is true

Family: tells who you are
Friends: make who you are

Saying sorry: won’t vindicate you
Feeling sorry: would

Mind: can play tricks on heart
Heart: can do no such thing

Crying: helps
Lamenting: doesn’t

Past: can’t come to future
Future: can’t come to past
Present: meets both

Loneliness: is just a state of mind

God: doesn’t exist
Existence: defines God

Words: can be taken back
One: has to be humble enough

AAH! Here comes the monsoon

2007-07-03T15:43:00.000+05:30

Had just finished watching “Jhoom Barabar Jhoom” and noticed that it had “officially” started raining outside … ok I must go outside to get some words for my new blog.

After 20 minutes:
Wow! The rain hasn’t stopped though, but I don’t want to forget the words which had just come on my mind. I just have to write them first. Well, let me start with the beginning. I live in DDA flats and here are so many buildings (in the same colony). The starting of the rain is marked by the sweet smell of moistened dust. If I was writing in Hindi, I would have described that better. Anyways, the second thing I couldn’t help noticing was how the colors of the buildings “change” when rain drops starts moistening the dry light brown shade to dark brown. Everything around is so different. The ambience changes from “stupid honking of traffic animals” to “sweet sound of rain drops orchestra”. It’s a treat watching the kids enjoying the rain as well. Reminds me of my younger days when I and my brother used to run on the streets and make ourselves indulged in the rain. Those were good days for sure. But I see a great deal of difference now-a-days. Actually just attached to our colony, there is a slum colony. As I was watching the scene from my balcony, I saw only the kids of those slums enjoying in the rain. I wonder where the kids of the DDA flat people went. I guess they don’t enjoy rain that much. Time has changed; people no longer enjoy getting wet in the rain. Those kids from the slum were having a great time, splashing water at each other, playing in the puddle. I just wished I was young too to join them as well. Apart from those kids, the trees looked greener, had little droplets on them like pearls. The rain was still heavy; the thundering was missing which makes it a bit less scary. There you go, one more of my secrets: I hate rain with thunder. Thunder scares the hell out of me. Anyways, the rain was still heavy and the breeze also flowing through it. As a result of this, some patterns are made, and this mixed with human imagination can make anything. I saw waves, no ships though, but waves. It seemed as if it was some anime movie. Just like in the movie “Finding Neverland”, when Jhonny Depp starts imagining stuff and creates a character called “Peter Pan”. I’m not saying I made one too. I was just meekly trying to compare the two situations.
Ah well, now the rain had died. I wish it will get alive some other day soon and bring me some more words. But I won’t be writing again about rain. But that wouldn’t stop the words entering my head, would it?

Me on METRO

2007-07-02T13:10:00.000+05:30

Hey! It’s me again, this time I want to share a rather common incident with you people. Well, it all starts when I got a call from by aunt about my little cousin facing some problems in doing his homework. Yeah, I couldn’t believe it either. It was ridiculous, but I thought I should help. So I went. My aunt resides in dwarka, New Delhi. The easiest way to reach there is by city bus. But I’d rather be late than to suffer the immense nasal torture while traveling in a city bus. It’s a real mess; one must experience it once a lifetime (hey don’t blame me if you really do!). Anyways, I then decided to take the metro and started my journey from “central secretariat” to “dwarka”, during which I had to change train from “rajiv chowk” (in cannought place) metro station. It would take me about 45 minutes to reach dwarka metro station.
I had put my ipod plugged in, listening to my favorite band “the corrs”. Didn’t get a seat as these days people try to travel in metro, as its cool in there. I guess I’m not that smart as I think I was. Anyways, as much as I enjoy listening to “the corrs”, I do too enjoy observing my fellow passengers. Usually I search for people doing some crazy stuff and I cunningly watch them stumble and have my laugh (wicked me).
Well I saw this man, about in his late 30’s, he was talking on the mobile. He was standing in a pose which would not suggest that he was at all talking to the person at the other side. He was holding a file and at the same time he was also adamant on working on his body language, although he was only talking on the mobile. Funny thing is, the person next to him was soundly sleeping. It seemed as if this guy was waving his file to get some air. At first I thought, “Hey! Is the ac working or not”. Later, when I realized the situation, I really had a giggle.
Meanwhile, I now had to board another train as I had reached “rajiv chowk”. While I was stepping down the stairs, this “haryanavi jat” like person rushes down. I did get a push though, but I didn’t mind as I thought he was in some sort of a hurry. But to my amazement, this guy turned at the end of the stairs and hopped on the ascending escalator! Now, here two things came in my mind: either he forgot something up there so he ran back taking the escalator, or he was doing a typical “jat” thingy (no offence meant to “jats”), ie enjoying the escalator ride! Well, to have a good laugh, I now assume the later case to be true (it most probably wouldn’t have been though). Had another giggle, never looked back at this guy so as to keep laughing at the assumed scenario.
It’s not that I only try to have a good laugh while traveling. On the other hand, I also like to observe kids, as I think they are the ones with natural talents and can bring a smile to anyone’s face. No one can imitate children, but they surely can do anyone! While I was watching this little girl, who was trying to jump and grab the hand rests on the overhead support bars, I saw some amazing stuff that only kids can do. She was trying hard though, but couldn’t get to the “target”. So she makes this “disappointed” expression on her face, I’d say no elder in the world can make that cute expression. I mean, she must be very natural on giving that kind of expression, you know. She would also sometimes crash into other standing passengers while making her “attempts on the moon”. Naturally, when those passengers looked back at her, she would again make another cute expression of embarrassment. She was a little superstar back there.
I don’t know if it’s just me or my observant nature. I just love to watch and observe people. I guess it gives me an opportunity to understand others a bit better. Watching people while commuting is a real treat. I’m sure you would find so many people doing (unknowingly I hope) crazy stuff, cute stuff, or may be scary stuff too! It makes me realize that how big this world is. In fact so many people are there that if I travel daily in a metro, I would return home with a new tale to tell.

LOVE : definition, story and confession

2007-06-28T10:19:00.000+05:30

The definition :
Love … what really is love? Has anyone tried to realize what really love is? Everyone, in one way or the other falls in love at some point of time. It might not necessarily be with a person as would come in the minds of most. It, very well stretches to a vast extent into human imagination and psyche. Different people may have different explanations, some call it passion, some call it hobby, but I think if you really feel a great deal about it, care about it, then it is the love for that particular thing or person, you know. Some people love themselves, we define them as selfish. But can you blame them? If I love to crack jokes and try to make everybody around me happy, now if some people say that I try to steal the show, would you blame me?
I just want to tell you that usually people associate the term love to a particular relationship in their lives, but I think love is just not the girl/guy you like. It is just a “thing” that makes you happy about yourself, makes you think that “yes, I’m doing the right thing”. I love casual jests, I love making friends, I love to spread the joy, I love to talk, I love music, I love reading, I love writing, I love to analyze, etc. all these “I love” phrases, I think they’d make any person feel elated. Love is in the air, they say. Without love there is nothing. Setting an aim can also be categorized as “love to achieve”. I personally feel that, of all the “love to” phrases, the best one is “I love to live life”. In my opinion, this is a superset of all these “love to” phrases.
Love is certainly a very “magical” word, but I would also like it to be phrased as basic ingredient to a person’s personality, psyche and whatever. I don’t think that there is a single exception in our human race that has not got even a trace of love in him/her.
I’m not very good at introspecting, so I don’t really know what I love. I have my own conceptions about my love for something(s) or someone(s). It may or may not seem to be up to everyone’s expectations about me. But I’d still do those things as I love to do them.

The story :
Well, my story has many heart breaks for me. Used to have a huge crush on my mathematics teacher, miss M, in sixth grade! Sadly (for me, back then), she got married and left the school. I was her favorite student. Then I never fell for any girl till my tenth grade exams. I was searching for English language coaching for last one month before my board exam. I guess I was weakest in English language (statistically). Anyways, I was looking for a teacher, found one and went at her place to ask if she would take me. Wait, I know what you are thinking. Well I didn’t fall for the teacher this time, but I saw this girl who was studying with other students there. She was special, I know she was. Obviously, I fell for her. Sadly, I was turned down by the teacher as she said that she won’t be taking anymore intakes as she has to concentrate on her child, who was also going to take the same exam. Anyways, time passed, now its six months later when my tenth grade result was out. All the students aspiring for non-medical, medical, commerce, arts streams were to fill choices for admissions into eleventh grade in a good govt. school. I had good marks and managed to get admission in a school of my first choice. I know what you are thinking! You are thinking why so much details about this part. Yes, you are right! I saw this girl there, she was special. Again, I came back home, kept thinking about her. Again, time passed, after a month or so, my classes started. First day at school, this girl enters the classroom. She was special! She was! I immediately fell for her. Later I came to know that her name was S and also that she was the daughter of the same English language teacher who had turned me down in past. Then I realized that this girl, for whom I fell, might have been the same girl I saw at that teacher’s home and the counseling after exams. I couldn’t believe that I had fallen for the same girl for three times in a row, without even realizing I did! That was surely a catalyst in my love reaction which was already going on in me. I wanted this girl at any cost. But in as critical class as the eleventh grade, I couldn’t pursue anything else other than studies. Studies were the main focus at that time. I made my mind to forget her for the time being, but she was never out of my mind.In the same class i came accross yet another girl named N, sweet smart and joyful. I never fell for her though, she is a very special friend of mine and i have much sweet memories of hers. I used to call her "kamli". I love her too, but not in that way, you know.
Now, after I passed twelfth grade, I tried to find S, but soon came to know that she has gone very far away from me. I was broke, I was torn. I was frustrated … XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX … that’s the dark period of my life. I became a pessimist and developed so much guilt and remorse in me that later I lost much in life. If only I had told her about my feelings in the eleventh grade itself, I kept thinking this. I later learnt that it was only me who was at fault.
Anyways, this incident might have been the biggest crush of my life but I don’t think that even this could prevent me from having further crushes.
During my dark times, I came to know two particular girls, O and S (not the old S), O has always been there for me in my every good and bad moments, and so has S. Where O is a childhood pal, S was a complete stranger. I could talk to her about stuff that I could never talk to anyone else. I never fell for O but I surely love her very much. She is still a special friend for me and is an integral part of my life. But due to the depth of stuff I talked to S, I think I started to fell for her. I planned to meet her as well, but I think fate didn’t let me do that. Anyways, I still think that was one of my biggest mistakes I have ever made. Time passed and lost contact with her for some time and one day I realized that there was no life for me without thinking about her. So I decided to tell her my feelings. But to my bad luck, I came to know about her heart break and that she wasn’t interested and also that she didn’t think of me in that way. And also that she wanted to be friends. But I think I just couldn’t bear the pain and abandoned her. I guess you would now hate me for this. I know I deserve this. I have lived in hell for the past 6 months and recently I have again found her and she says she didn’t mind me taking off like that. Now, what kind of person says like that? And would I not fall for her all over again? But I’m her friend (as she thinks of me). But may through this blog I might be able to tell her truly how I feel about her.
So here it is –

The confession :
You might be afraid to start a relationship, but I am already in it. I know I will screw up big time if again do things wrong this time. So I will not leave your side, I am sticking with you to whatever end. I just want you to be happy. Never take me as a threat to you as I wouldn’t even be able to kill a mosquito in your vicinity.
Always waiting for you … dear S(not the old one) … P … I love you!
(damn! This censor board is riding right up my ass!)

me psycho-analysing me !!!

2007-06-28T09:09:00.001+05:30

I am perfectly imperfect person, suffering from many kinds of mental and psychological ailments. I guess I could make list for the same but I wouldn’t do that (actually I shouldn’t do that :)).

Anyways, I guess the first one that I recon in my system would be something I call “Equi-Distribution Obsession”. Let me shed some light on it. The thing is that I should always do, perform, see, smell, whatever... with equally distributing the work, load, whatever… on both sides of my body. Confused? Well lets take up an example- when I am eating, I should chew equal amounts of eatable stuff by my left as well as my right sides of my jaws. Freaky, huh? Not freaky enough.

Second in the line comes LPS-“Laad Pyaar Syndrome”. Let me have a laugh first. Ok … well … as Delhi-ites already know that most of their pets are suffering from this disease, but I couldn’t resist to use this LPS phrase while describing myself. Well I know you might be smiling right now and thinking “what a freak”! That’s fine by me. Well LPS is a mental state of mind in which the “patient” is always in need of a certain someone(s) to pamper (well I wont exactly say pamper though). Well you see, everyone needs him/herself to be heard. Now how big this urge of any particular individual is determines how much he/she talks, socializes, jests, maybe writing a journal too. In my particular case, humor and talking, takes the toll. May be people like me (hey wait a minute, I can generalize this to all sane humans too), just try to find different paths to find love, care, sympathy… or whatever. Just like Delhi pets like to be looked after too much (see, what I mean with that humor thingy).

Third one freaks the hell out of me as well. Most of you would try to judge me on this, but I hope guys would like to support me on this. I’m not a pervert, but this stupid thing is set in my mind with such weight that I just can’t ignore it. Look, here’s the deal, whenever I talk to a stranger of opposite sex, I’d start checking her out. Well, lets just say that most of the times, my “line of vision” start passing by the “assets” and the worst part is that I feel bad about it (I’d say I feel embarrassed). But again, as it is said that, dog’s tail would always be twisted (it may be twisted upwards gloriously or downwards right up its ass), anyways, the point is that it remains twisted. This particular thing makes me kind of uncomfortable near unknown females. That’s the reason why I would never start a conversation with any unknown girl (face to face). I, sometimes, even walk away when a girl sits besides me, or the table next to me. I find it very challenging to deal with this syndrome :)

The fourth one is very embarrassing for me as it would be for any guy. Here I’m a very sensitive and fragile person. Maybe, because of the “Dark Times” of my life, I am unable to deal with intense emotional situations. What I mean is that I can’t see a girl crying (oh man, that’s the worst situation for me to face), I can’t confess (verbally) to anyone about any mean deed I do or say to anyone. Some more things are there too, but I’m not able to recall them at the moment. The funny thing is that I don’t even try to counter this problem as I think people would think I’m being a cry-baby. Some of my friends would also like me to add this one too. Its about the affect alcohol has on me. They say:
Daaru in,
I start cryin …
Alcohol somehow brings out your true self to the outer layer of your personality, which everyone tries to keep very clean and tidy. I think it happens to everyone, may be sometimes in my case it strikes at some deep wound of time.

Anyways, moving to the next thing, this one is good. I am very much a keen observant by nature. It is just in my system to try to figure out the composition, geometry, symmetry, everything that describes anything I observe. Let me take an example, well I know each and everything in my room and the place I live in so I don’t observe that much around that place :). Anyways, if I were to go to a new place, I would try to analyze each and every detail that comes in my mind about it and its surroundings. Hell, I even sometimes follow ant trails to observe how they “find” their way back home.

This next thing I do most often. I would pick up a song I like (usually new), and I would listen it again and again until I can no more listen to it. I’d rather throw up but to listen to that song again :). I don’t know why I do that, but I do it. But, exceptions are there too, I can listen to “Junoon”, “Strings”, “The Corrs” endlessly. I don’t know why I do that too.

Imperfection defines perfection. As everything is comparative, you can’t even dream to be perfect if you don’t have imperfections in your system. The thing is that how well you introspect, you know. I am just trying to say that you have to have imperfections to pursue perfection. I have always tried to be perfect, but I have realized it’s just a chase to find the horizon. It seems to exist, it seems the sky and earth meet at some place but no one ever reaches there. But you tend to see some people at the horizon and be jealous of them but kindly realize that “those” people can’t achieve it either, as the horizon drifts further and further as we move towards it. Yet another thing I realize about this is that if you run away from this horizon, you would see that it follows you. Then again a most of us would rather run towards it than running away from it, hoping to reach that mystic place. That’s a human nature I guess.

First Blog

2007-03-13T09:32:00.000+05:30

Hello check check ... hey can anyone hear me ???
k ... people , my serious blogging will start in some time ... i have just created my blog page ... will update soon :)