Life, Death .... Rebirth ....

It’s like I’m living two lives. I feel like I died long ago due a prolonged illness. And now this is my rebirth and I still remember the past. I don't know what the reason was of my fatal illness in the last life but it must have been damn bad. It’s like I still remember the past. I walk through time, I meet my friends, enjoy the best days, but amidst all this when I see my last days, I feel choked. Then I realize how good my life is now than the same back then. In the last life I think I was a good person, but I think I just didn’t fit in and hence perished away.

Sometimes I think I’m just like the mythical "phoenix", which burns itself in flames and is reborn from its ashes. But of course myth and reality don’t go hand in hand. Then why do I remember things from the past? Does it have a role to play in my later life? Or is it just another phase, which will wash away in time. I don’t like the past life, but surely I don’t want to completely erase it outta my mind. All the good times I spent, people I cared for, people I loved, it all comes back to me so often.

People say that one should exhale one's past, breath in the present and wait till you exhale the present as the new past and breath in the future as the new present. That’s the cycle life takes. But in my case I can't exhale the past, in addition to that I also want to breathe in the present. I'm just not sure how big my lungs are! Well all jokes apart, the world has changed a lot as it was in the past. Everything back then was so different - simpler, of course. Sometimes I do come across things that remind me of the past. Then I get confused about the life I’m leading. Am I still living in the past?
--- A confused mind