Dirty Secrets: :)

1. Until you realize how important is to get up early in the morning, you can’t be successful, but as a humble IITian, I always do what we do best, sleep!!

2. Get over it, otherwise you’ll get under it, and it ain’t pretty down here.

3. Obliging people is good until it turns into ass licking.

4. Don’t beat yourself for what you did or didn’t do, beat the guy responsible for it.

5. If life is hard on you, it’s about time you toughened up; otherwise you’ll be like a tomato run over by a car.

6. Never try to fart when you feel like shitting, otherwise you’ll SHART, and my friend it is not good.

7. If your GF forgot her panties in your apartment, your roommate is gonna have a hell of a time.

8. You cannot compare the pain of labor and the pain of getting kicked in the nards. Next time I see an alien, I gotta ask it the same.

9. Farting is the ultimate male bonding phenomenon. The louder it is, the more comfortable you are.

10. I dunno why IT is called love making, but it’s clear that a woman came up with it. They always "make" their way.

11. The stairway to heaven is actually straight. Your decisions make it freak in wavy.

12. All men are dogs. It’s just that, some are better trained, by their mistresses of course.

13. People who think that if they stop following chicks will make the latter follow them are pessimistically optimistic and that’s sad because that is not going to happen.

14. Girls love attention. I always make sure I do that thinking it’s my lucky day. No risk no gain baby!!

15. Never talk to breasts. First, they don’t reply back. Second, you could get slapped. Third, you could get lucky, but it happens only in dreams and if it does actually happen, gimme a call, asap!!

16. If you get caught by your parents with a femina in your room, I am going to beat you more than they do because there is better stuff you could have enjoyed before getting caught, you dumbass !!

17. If you work too hard and crack your ass, only shit will fall.